Christmas gift exchange games for families

A gift exchange game turns handing out presents into something that takes an hour and produces an argument everybody enjoys. Here are seven, with the rules written out properly, because half the trouble with these games is that everybody remembers them slightly differently.

For all of them: agree a spending limit first, say it out loud, and write it down.

1. White elephant (also called Yankee swap)

You need: one wrapped gift per person, unlabeled.

Rules:

1. Put every gift in a pile. Draw numbers to set the order.
2. Player 1 picks a gift and opens it, so everybody can see it.
3. Player 2 either takes an opened gift from somebody else, or picks a new one from the pile. If their gift is stolen, that player immediately does the same.
4. A gift can be stolen a maximum of twice; after that it is frozen and stays where it is.
5. At the end, player 1 may swap with anybody, because they never had a choice.

Good at: entertainment. Less good at: anybody receiving what they wanted.

Suits: groups that do not know each other well.

2. The dice game

You need: one wrapped gift per person, two dice.

Rules: everybody sits in a circle with the gifts in the middle. Take turns rolling. A double means you take a gift from the pile. When the pile is empty, set a timer for five minutes — now a double means you take a gift from somebody else. When the timer goes, you keep what you are holding.

Good at: small children, because it is pure luck and nobody has to choose.

3. Left–right

You need: one wrapped gift per person, and a story.

Rules: everybody holds a gift in a circle. Somebody reads a short story out loud, written so that the words "left" and "right" appear often. Every time a direction is said, everybody passes their gift that way. When the story ends, you open what you are holding.

Good at: a wide age range at once, and it takes ten minutes.

4. Secret Santa

The one most families settle on eventually: everybody draws one name and buys one gift for that person only.

Good at: better gifts, less money, shorter mornings. It is the only game on this list where the gift is chosen for a specific person, which is why it survives when the novelty of the others wears off.

There is a full explanation of the rules here, and a version for large families here.

5. The mystery box

You need: one large wrapped box containing several small gifts, and one prize.

Rules: the box is wrapped in many layers. Players take turns rolling a die while wearing oven gloves; on a six, they try to unwrap a layer until the next person rolls a six. Whatever they free, they keep.

Good at: children aged roughly six to twelve, and it is genuinely funny to watch.

6. The themed swap

Not a mechanic — a constraint. Everybody buys one gift, but it must be homemade, or secondhand, or edible, or from a local shop, or under ten dollars.

Good at: levelling the field entirely, because money stops being the variable. It reliably produces more interesting gifts than an open brief.

7. The guessing game

You need: a completed Secret Santa.

Rules: gifts are opened one at a time, and before the giver is revealed, the receiver gets one guess. A correct guess wins something small — first choice of dessert, the good chair, not doing the washing-up.

Good at: stretching out an exchange that would otherwise be over in fifteen minutes, and it makes people pay attention to somebody else's gift.

Choosing one

• Large, and the cost has got out of hand — Secret Santa.
• Mostly adults who barely know each other — white elephant.
• Mostly small children — the dice game, or left–right.
• A wide spread of ages in one room — left–right.
• Looking for something different this year — a themed swap.

Whatever you pick, decide it in November and tell everybody in writing. The commonest failure is not the game — it is two people who turned up having prepared for different ones.